Bihari Essay "Indian Cow"
You'll forget your English by the time you finish reading this..
This is a
true essay written by a Bihari candidate at the
UPSC(IAS)Examinations..
The candidate has written an essay on the Indian cow:

Indian Cow
HE IS THE COW. "The cow is a successful animal. Also he is 4
footed, And because he is female, he give milks, but will do so
when he is got child. He is same like-God, sacred to Hindus and
useful to man. But he has got four legs together. Two are forward
and two are afterwards.. His whole body can be utilised for use.
More so the milk. Milk comes from 4 taps attached to his basement.
horses dont have any such attachment. What can it do? Various ghee,
butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so forth. Also he
is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally. His motion is
slow only because he is of lazy species., Also his other motion..
gober is much useful to trees, plants as well as for making flat
cakes [like Pizza ] , in hand , and drying in the sun..

Cow is the only animal that extricates his feeding after eating. Then
afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated in the inside
of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass. His
only attacking and defending organ is the horns, specially so when
he is got child.. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes
the weapons to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly
proceed with great velocity forwards.He has got tails also, situated
in the backyard,but not like similar animals. It has hairs on the
other end of the other side.. This is done to frighten away the flies
which alight on his cohesive body whereupon he gives hit with it.The
palms of his feet are soft unto the touch.. So the grasses head is
not crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground
and he shouts . His eyes and nose are like his other relatives.This
is the cow........

We are informed that the candidate passed the exam.and is now an
IAS, is bihar in somewhere,..[sorry somewhere in Bihar]

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